Billboards are easily the best way to be seen if you’re a hopeful politician. A good billboard and marketing plan can be the difference between visibility and invisibilty. But a bad billboard can undo a whole lot of the gains a month or two of baby kissing and businessman brown-nosing offers.
Last election I invited a team of Auckland experts to run a critical eye over the billboards of Palmy's council hopefuls. I couldn't afford them this year, but got in a similar group of Whanganui professionals for their views. They bought their own alcohol and a wealth of ignorance about Palmy's political scene...and the results were...interesting. Here's what they had to say about Rachel Bowen's handiwork:
It's important that billboards are easy to see, read and understand from a distance. As most Palmerstonians travel around town in their cars at about 73kmh, clarity is even more important. Our judges put this to the test by driving past Rachel's billboard several times in a minibus hired specially for the occasion. Gary, from Whanganui design company, Gary's Groovy Graphics, liked Rachel's signs so much he took several home to make a chicken coop.
General comments were complimentary:
"She should move to Whanganui!"
"She would make a GREAT real estate agent...she looks so natural on a billboard!"
"Do you think she uses a straightener?"
But no-one could figure out what those little pictures in the corner of her sign were. After much debate, they came up with:
Left to right:
1: Rachel accepting a Queen's Service medal for overcoming crippling shyness - a true inspiration, they said.
2: Rachel being awarded a giant brown worm by the Ashhurst Wooden Wildlife Replication Society (AWWRS)...why? No one really wanted to think too hard about that one.
3: Rachel starring as a waitress in the Cloverlea Theatre Society's performance of Grease.
4: Rachel meeting a man with a pumpkin on his head while someone carrying a yacht looks away. No-one could figure out what Rachel was doing with that hose...but it looked like fun.
5: Rachel helping someone rescue a really big whale.
All-in-all, our designers gave her billboard 11 out of 10. I'm not so sure, and will be hiring a team from Levin next election.
NEXT UP: KAREN NAYLOR'S TRIBUTE TO BARBIE
In the days of rubies, surgical knives and hot wax, the Bromide Room was where a designer could go to breath some toxic air, get away from the boss, and talk shit with someone from the production department. It's been a long time since then...but hopefully the shit I talk here is a fitting tribute to the days when the only thing that I really knew about design was that it was the only thing I
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